if You ever gave up on me

If You ever gave up on me
decided my fragile sinner’s heart
wasn’t worth the effort
that the diamond underneath
was really only dirt
and finally ran out of endless grace
if one day my sins hit four-nine-one
if one day your endless grace was gone
and You told me it was too late,
I could never again find redemption, well
…welcome to hell.

It would kill me; I would die
I’d quit on life
’cause I couldn’t be alive
or I’d wander the streets
weeping redemption
telling them not to take Your grace
so loosely
like I did
before it’s too late for them too.

It’s the prophets with the end ripped out
death without hope of salvation
if You told me I was too far gone
and no amount of “I’m sorry”s would change Your mind
I’d take my place on the street
because hope would be gone
If it was one time too many
You decided my begging for forgiveness
was only to get out of trouble
and not from real love
and wouldn’t forgive me until I was
sincere enough,
or if it was too late…

It would kill me; I would die
I’d quit on life
’cause I couldn’t be alive
or I’d wander the streets
weeping redemption
telling them not to take Your grace
so loosely
like I did
before it’s too late for them too.

You want my redemption more than I do.
’cause when I had already crossed the line
gone too far
when my sins hit four-nine-one
when endless grace was gone
when my begging forgiveness was just to get out of trouble
not from real love
and I would wake up in hell…
Then grace rushed in…

It killed You; You died
’cause You refused to be alive
without hope for me.
You woke up in Hell
and came back with enough grace
to save me from myself
You won limitless grace
and an eternity of second chances.
I found myself in Your embrace
in a garden in palestine
with a broken tomb thrown open wide.

Graci, Signore.

Author: David M Schell

I am a doubter and a believer. I have a Master's in Divinity from Pittsburgh Theological Seminary, but because faith grows and changes, I don't necessarily stand by everything I've ever written, so if you see something troubling further back, please ask! Read More. View all posts by David M Schell