Those liberals are always saying there are only six or seven anti-gay verses in the Bible, but they’re wrong.
I was digging through the Fundamentalist’s Hymnbook the other day and discovered that some of our modern liberal Bible translations seem to have erased words and phrases from some of the more popular Bible verses and hymns.
I present some samples from the correct and original 1610 edition (before the 1611 KJV came along and corrupted it).
For God so loved the world, that he sent his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life, unless they’re gay, in which case they shall surely perish.
Amazing grace! how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me!
I once was gay, but now am straight,
Was wrong, but now am right.
Indeed, God did not send the Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him, except for LGBTQ people, whom God did send the Son into the world to condemn. [Emphasis from the original Hebrew]
For God has imprisoned all in disobedience so that he may be merciful to all, except for transgendered people, who are abominations.
The man named his wife Eve, because she was the mother of all living, and not Steve, for she was not a man, and he was not gay and an abomination.
Grace Greater than Our Sin
Marvelous grace of our loving Lord,
Grace that exceeds our sin and our guilt!
Unless we’re gay and we think it’s okay
Then we’re the people for whom hell was built;
Yonder on Calvary’s mount outpoured,
There where the blood of the Lamb was spilled.
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin –
Except for being born attracted
to people of the same gender!
The Love of God
The love of God is greater far
Than tongue or pen can ever tell;
It goes beyond the highest star,
And reaches to the lowest hell;
Unless you’re gay, or think it’s okay
God cannot pardon that sin
His erring child He reconciled,
And pardoned from his sin.
(Except for being LGBTQ)
He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: ‘You shall not be gay.’ On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was gay
But now am straight
Was wrong but now am right.
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, “You lack one thing; go, get conversion therapy, and stop being attracted to men, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.”
No slave can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be gay.”
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you are not LGBTQ.”
“If you love me, you will not be gay.”
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Don’t be bisexual.”
We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose, and who are not gays or lesbians.
Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good, do not be a lesbian;
Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, not being LGBTQ is the fulfilling of the law.
Okay, I have a confession: Those aren’t hymns, and that’s not the Bible. There was no 1610 version of the Fundamentalist’s Hymnbook. These verses are perversions of scripture.
And if you’re LGBTQ, you need to know that. This is not the Bible, no matter what awful Christians may have told you. It’s just not.
And if your God kicks people out for being gay, you may have the wrong verses highlighted, and you’re appending things to songs and Bible verses that truly do not belong there. You’re trying to reduce the goodness of God, and shrink the mercy of God, and decide who God can care about, and as the prophet Jonah found out the hard way, that shit does not work. It does not work at all. And if you persist in it, it will leave you miserable on top of a hill on a hot day whining about a dead plant.
And that’s in the Bible.