7 Lies Churches Tell


* Only authorized questions. As long as you’re looking for information about what the right thing to believe is, and if you’re just confused, your questions are always welcome here.

If you have questions that challenge what we believe, or questions we can’t easily answer, or if you don’t believe our answers, then your questions should probably hitch a ride with you back to hell where they belong.


* We have confused thinking a very core part of LGBTQ+ people is sinful and wanting that part of them to change, with love, therefore we think we love them.


* Change so we can accept you. We’re pretty sure God wouldn’t accept anyone we wouldn’t.


* But only if you love God back. If you don’t, God will do some pretty hateful things to you. Because God’s ways are higher than ours, don’t ya know? Even if God’s ways bear a spooky resemblance to the ways of a jealous jerk: “If you won’t go out with me, you’re going to miserable.”


* We believe the parts of the Bible that agree with our theology, and we pretend the other parts don’t exist.


* This is how we get around that feeling of horror about God sending people to Hell. You just feel better about people being in eternal conscious torment if you can believe they intentionally chose it for themselves.

Which is ridiculous, because nobody would intentionally choose that. Nobody. No matter how much they hated God.


There’s no asterisk on this one because no amount of clarifying text could make this less of a lie.

Many churches, and many Christians, don’t feel this way. The church Kristen and I have attended for the past few weeks has a sign that says “Got questions? So do we.”

In a Bible study at the church we attended for the last couple years, a woman spoke up after reading the verse that says women are to remain silent in the church and said, “You know, I never did like that verse.”

Many churches, including many in my own adopted denomination, the PC(USA), love LGBTQ people and have them as members, perform their weddings, and even have LGBTQ ministers. (Oddly, the “ministers” thing came before the “marriage” thing.”)

Churches in the Reformed tradition apparently don’t do invitations, except for communion and Ash Wednesday, and that’s just to come forward and receive communion or the ashes.

Many United Church of Christ congregations have a reputation for being what they call “Radically inclusive.”

A great number of churches don’t believe in penal substitution or that God sends people to hell, and many others are far more honest about their relationship with the Bible.

Unfortunately, far and away, the churches that might have these signs (and these disclaimers) tend to be the largest and the loudest.

I made these signs at http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/. What lies have you been told?


About David M. Schell






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