Something in my heart believes
Or wants to
Sometimes it’s hard to tell
So I take the rope again
And pray there’s something at
The way is dark, and sometimes lonely
Sometimes the path is steep
The road looks less like black and white
When it appears
I had a dream where they called gays fags
in a song in church
I stood up, outraged, demanded that they stop
I was overcome by
Where’s heaven? And is it ever coming?
Coming to save us from ourselves,
our poor, lost selves?
Will Jesus ever come back and save
And if he does, will we even like it?
Will our hearts have gone too far in our own way?
Will we know Jesus so intimately that when he shows up
We’ll know that it’s
Jesus, if you’re out there,
Come and save us.
Send a signal.
The cross was great, but
All those years
And all the tears between
The dust of history books –
You and I
Both know it could’ve been
And fiction, and crooks
and liars, thieves
the folks you came to save
_____rewrote your story
and wrote out folks like them
and wrote out folks like us.
They said you didn’t like anybody
but that as our failed parent it was
your obligation to come and save us from
our evil selves.
_____So you did.
I don’t want to believe you’re mad at us.
But are you really out there, or are you just
a mirage of wishful thinking
a beautiful true story,
that mythbusters will find
I don’t know.
And maybe no one can.
_____But I’ll believe.
There’s evidence enough
to get a nod from me.
Not enough to silence all my doubts
_____And maybe there never could be.
But forward, into the darkness
Following the shadow of a doubt.
Hoping gentle words and love can save the world
Hoping that salvation is out there
Hoping that salvation’s coming
This is why doubters don’t write hit Christian songs.
Nobody wants a maybe-hope, we want
with a capital T.
_____It’s not that easy.
– – –
I was driving home late one night and got to thinking that there aren’t a whole lot of songs on Christian radio that speak to people who aren’t certain of everything, and I got this idea to write some Psalms for us. I didn’t really follow standard Psalm format, but I thought, we need poetry that helps us see that we’re not alone in our questions.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I can fix this,” you’re the reason I was nervous about publishing this in the first place.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “I thought I was the only one who felt that way,” this is for you.